Re-claimed LOVE & and a few new "This is My Jam"

This week has been a week that reminds me that I LOVE running............the challenge, claiming something of MINE for the day, the therapy, the running high, the calories burned after a kick a** sprint workout, reminding myself that I am still an athlete, the example it sets for my kids, the relationships I build, the lessons I learn, the sore muscles, and yes even the misery of it.............

As I am wrapping my mind around the fact that my training has not gone as planned due to being sick and other challenges -
I am thankful that I CAN do it - even if I am not where I wanted to be as I get ready for Boston.  I am truly thankful to have the opportunity to step foot on that course.  To own Boston Marathon.  Whether I get to step up to the start line and breath in the same air of some of running's elites & knowing my body, my pace isn't where I initially set out for it to be - I am thankful.

As my husband told me tonight at dinner when I was sharing my disappointment in knowing I know where I COULD be & where I am at - with only weeks to go.  His passion is golf and he dreams of one day golfing on the original course - where it all began in St. Andrews, Scotland - the birthplace of golf.  He said he wants to go there to EXPERIENCE the course and take it all in.  That it would be such a shame to go somewhere like St. Andrews or Boston Marathon and waste time on the "what if's" or "should haves" and miss out on the experience of being a part of something so meaningful.  And I agreed and said - "But wouldn't it be awesome to say you shot a 83 on one of the word's best courses!"........just sayin.

I have to say again how much I LOVE running buddies.  For my 16 last Saturday I ran with one of my dear friends Meredith.  It was a COLD run - but I had great company.  Thank you Meredith for logging miles with me!!

Just this Saturday, for my 21 -  I met up with a gal (Katy)who works with one of my friends - she is running Boston as well. One of her friends ran with us and some of her Portland Fit group joined us for our first loop.  There is just something about that instant bond that runners have  - another reason I LOVE running.  We took on a route with some pretty good hills and finished our 21 in 3:03 - not too bad for these sad lungs of mine.  I am discovering that I am not as much of a lone runner as I thought I was.


Before I start this weeks - "This is My Jam"
I just have to say that I seem to have a ridiculous talent (if you even call it that) of turning pretty much any song into somehow being "a running song".

I thought I would share a song that I have loved lately for warming up (also just one of my favorite songs right now).  Give it a minute and gets a pretty good rhythm going.

Only the Young by Brandon flowers

I love that it says -
"Nothing is easy - nothing is sacred - WHY?? "
"Only the young can break away"..........Please - us 35 year old mama's can break away too!!

Now another song that gets me fired up lately........
Such a great beat for tempo runs & any song that you can sing out "Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah" while you are running just has to be good!


The Naked and Famous by Young Blood

It isn't called Super Ice for nothing & Introducing THIS IS MY JAM!!!

So - it can't be so bad if I am training hard enough to need this....

My late night friend tonight

I am certainly someone who delights in a certain amount of pain - knowing that I pushed my body hard enough to hurt a little.  So for my hard work this last week -  I rewarded myself with a SUPER ICE ice bath.  What could be better???  I was sure that it being SUPER ICE - would make it that much more effective!

Quick update on the last week of training:

-   The anti-biotics are certainly helping me reclaim my lungs.  They are certainly not 100%, but getting there.

-  I tackled a 20 mile training run with my angel of a friend Megan!!!  She joined me for 15 miles and there is no way that I would have gotten through it without her.  She took me on a new route through the hills by OHSU - KILLER hill workout.  My lungs didn't love it by mile 10 or so - but I am thinking a good hill workout may pay off in Boston. Have hea d there are a few hills - haha!

I have to say that this run reminded me of what a blessing running buddies are!  At one point on the way back - we conquered a MAJOR hill,  and Megan being the incredible encourager that she is (and having run Boston before) said "That hill is harder than Heartbreak hill and you just did it!"
THANK YOU MEGAN!!

-  3 mile "loosen my legs" run.

-  Lungs and legs weren't quite ready for my sprint workout today.  Got most of it in - but "almost" is never enough for my head to not spin around the  - "maybe you aren't going to be ready" thoughts.

So - ice bath to take care of the sore muscles and and for the head games.....
Remind myself to focus on the successes of this week and on to the next training run!!

One of the many motivators is music.  There is something about a good song when you need a little extra kick or a song that you have an emotional connection with that pushes through your heart and keeps your legs moving. My husband loves music (and is much more in tune with new music than me)  and often downloads new songs onto my running mix for me.  I thought it would be fun to share one or a few songs each week that are keeping me moving.  I am going to be super cheesy & call it -

THIS IS MY JAM - because this is something that my husband says when there is an awful song on & it always makes me laugh - well, not when we are getting a couples massage and he says "This is my Jam!!" (oh - yes he did that!!). - but otherwise it cracks me up.

So -  for this week:

THIS IS MY JAM!! - 

 My Body by Young by Giant

It is so perfect for running!!  Love the beat & the chorus keeps saying:

"My body tells me NO - but I won't quit - because I want more!!"

 How perfect is that.  Certainly a great song when you are needing to keep pushing.
This is a must have for your running list & it may become your new favorite jam.

Off to get some rest and tackle a few more inspired miles in the morning.......

7 weeks out and by the way - Do you have my Mojo???

Let's start by saying - sorry for the slacking.  Ok - I put it out there - I have been POST lazy.  I have great excuses......husband's crazy busy travel schedule, a lot of birthday parties & class parties to plan, my sad attempt at a jump on spring cleaning - but mostly I have been busy pouting & searching for my "go get it" attitude.  I haven't been sharing much because I have had a hard training on many levels this time around. And really - who wants to hear about all that?  I have had a few friends say that they think I should share anyway. And I guess if we really are sharing our running or life journey's - the junk comes along too. This running funk is new to me........& REALLY - NOW - while I am training for Boston.  Shouldn't I be more motivated than ever??!!!

Here have been my Roadblocks this time around:

1.  My husband has been gone for work in the last 2 1/2 months - more than he has been home.  Now this busy season isn't new to our family, but I have never trained for a marathon through it.  Very tough emotionally and logistically getting runs in when my built in running "sitter" is gone - has been interesting (seriously - think - no early morning runs before the kids are up).  It had made me realize how much I rely on him for many things during training.  

2.  Let's just say that Northwest weather is not motivating this time of year!!  Maybe that is true to be said most places - but again - I have never trained during the "weather blues"  season.

3.  My BFF Julie isn't training with me this time around.  Not that we did every run together last time around - but most of our long runs.  I know she is supporting me just as much as when we train together, but  I do miss the phone calls of the excitement of the same goal or the pure pain we shared of our last long run together.  There is really no one in my immediate circle - my running buddies,  that is training for the same run right now and it just feels different.

4.  My training plan.....for Portland I LOVED my plan (well - maybe my body didn't - nothing a good ice bath didn't fix) - but I was confident in it.  I followed an advanced training plan that Sarah Shea of Run Like a Mother had shared with Julie & I, that she was also following for Portland .  Just have to say that it was certainly motivating to have Sarah as a running buddy through e-mails - checking on how the training was going on our shared plan and goal of running strong in Portland - which she did!!  The plan was kick your rear end hard, but certainly equipped me with confidence to show up the Portland Marathon start line feeling ready.  This time around with Andrew's travel & that it is the school year this time around and I help out with both of my kids classrooms - I just couldn't manage that plan.  I have used a make your own version of 2 different plans this time around and not feeling as strongly about it.  

5.  Physically I have been feeling cruddy - I got really sick a month ago & have had tightness in the chest ever since & coughing up some YUCKY (as my kids would say) stuff.  Not really conducive with marathon training! I kept thinking it was one of those colds that just falls in love with you & won't leave. I finally went to the doctor this week - as my last long run in the 20 degree weather - felt like I had a running buddy along with me - sitting on my chest. Verdict - I have an infection in my chest.  I am hoping the antibiotics and steroid inhaler are planning on redistributing some of my mojo where the mucus has taken over and owes me a month worth of my training.  Ok - that may be dramatic - but I seriously haven't had a good run in a while - one of those that you finish & say "I've got this"!!!  and that leads to the next roadblock......

6.  Mentally - all of the above have contributed to a "messy training head"!!!  I think that is the best way to put it.

So - it has been tough this time around - not what I envisioned as my story for my Boston training.  But I will be facing that Boston Marathon start line in 7 weeks nonetheless. So I can either choose to let myself focus on the hardships of the last few months and how it will effect my race and let my "messy training head" take over.  OR - I can embrace the next 7 weeks - knowing that usually we learn more when things are HARD and that not all journeys or training aspirations turn out how we plan them.  That this is still MY running story - inspiring at the moment or not and I am going to own it forever.

Well - I am hoping the 2nd option - but I will keep you posted...........

And I actually will this time!

This one is for HOPE!!

There are all type of things that get us excited to get out there & run, or at least push us to get our rear ends up & keep running/moving/working.  For me sometimes it can be as simple as a quote I read, a Nike commercial I watch or some new gear I get to to try out.  Then there are the inspirations that REALLY move you - way down deep.  Things that really matter - that consume you so much that if you don't keep moving, they can bring you to a screeching halt.  I had one of these motivators for my long run last week.  Friday morning at the exact time I was tackling the 9 miles on my training schedule , my friend Terri was beginning her first chemo treatment to fight against the recent cancer that was found in her body.  She is not only an amazing woman & mom - she is a fellow runner.  Terri has been an inspiration to me in my running (she has many more miles under her belt than I do) & she has always offered interest, encouragement, advice & a big smile through my training the last few years. I couldn't and didn't want to get her out of my mind while I was running that day.  Many things were streaming through my mind that morning about Terri and her sweet family & about my own experience with walking beside my mom as she faced her own battle with cancer.  I couldn't help but think about how big my challenge seemed to me..... to train well & successfully run the Boston marathon.  It seemed so small that morning in perspective.  Terri and I are both facing a challenge that we want to conquer the next few months, but I know the victory that will be weighing MUCH heavier on my heart as I train for Boston - will be the success story of Terri!!  I will be carrying her with me as I train, praying for her, hoping for her & pounding the pavement for her while she can't (for now - she will be back in the game soon!!).

There are times when I can say that I HATE the word cancer & I don't use that word very often.  Every time that word rings in my ears - there is a pain in the bottom of my stomach.  At the same time - I know that there is a God with a plan that I trust very much.  Even if His plan for my life has looked different at times than I hoped for.  I also know that as much as cancer has handed our family the greatest tragedy we have faced thus far - it also showed us the depth of the love that we have for each other and how truly loved we are by those around us.  For that I am grateful.

Here is one of my favorite promises that God has for me, for Terri & everyone else:

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

Here's to HOPE!!!!

Back in the game - Rested & Gearing up for Boston. And a little look back at Portland....

Boston........I feel like it is still sinking in, even after a few months to register, find hotels, find a training plan  -I am still digesting it all.  It is hard for me to even claim it - not sure why.  I have so many incredible family & friends that have bragged on me and have told me I should be doing the same - but I just haven't been able to.  When people have asked how Portland went - I generally tell them - "it went well".  But I haven't been able to say to many people and "I QUALIFIED FOR BOSTON".  It truly is so exciting in my own little world.  I guess there is a part of me that doesn't want to brag, and a part of me that is intimidated by the fact that I am going to actually have to show up and run a race among many incredible runners.  Scared knowing that my first attempt at a marathon landed me in a medic tent at mile 25 - I think that reality will always linger with me.  But Portland - oh sweet Portland - was a different story........
          I never did my official race re-cap for the Portland marathon because I had spent a few hours on an exciting play by play and I lost it on my computer.  Thinking I would come back to it - I took a little blogging and training break for some time with my family - but now I am back - training and otherwise.
So, just because I cannot completely avoid a race that left me with such great memories and an incredible challenge to face   - here is a quick re-cap of the highlights of Portland for me:
 - Waking up at home - knowing I was running a race on my own turf.
-  My dad and Andrew facing the early morning and the rain before the race with me.
-   Getting to show up at another start line with my best friend Julie (even though she was deciding to race injured) - it did a lot for me knowing she was on that course as we had been through some pretty tough training together.

Julie and I at Portland start line

-  Random moments but some of my favorites with my favorite running writer , who I have had the privilege to get to know - Sarah Bowen Shea - co-author of Run Like a Mother.  I love her on pre-race energy - she cracked me up & kept my pre-race jitters to a minimum.  I will remember that start line with her forever & I hope to start others with her.
-  The Portland course - LOVED IT, LOVED IT, LOVED IT.  Partly because I grew up here & there is just something about your own stomping ground.
-  My incredible friends and family that showing up to cheer me on - you all know who you are and all have no idea how your sweet faces and support will stay with me forever.
-  The worship band at mile 8 - it was awesome!! I was singing & crying (one of the many points on that course that I got teary)
-  Sweet mile 25!!!!  As many of you know - mile 25 is where the race ended for me at the Seattle Rock n' Roll Marathon - this point in the race as I looked at the 25 mile marker, feeling strong & ran past it.......it was the most emotional part of the race for me.
-  The FINISH - it was so great to see my families face there.  Andrew, my dad and my sister Jen sprinted from the mile 21 marker where they cheered me on so they could maneuver through the crowds and be there where I crossed that line this time.   For a little history on how much this meant to them as well as me -  Andrew has been the most amazing, encouraging support through all my training for 2 marathons in the last 6 months & my dad has been so encouraging and excited for me(sometimes more excited than me) - he was the one that was running beside me in Seattle, planning to run me in my last 5 miles, when I had to go back with the medics.  The two of them (and Julie) were the only ones that knew how truly heartbreaking Seattle was and what an incredible victory Portland was for me.  Back to that finish line.......I could see their amazing smiles and hear them saying, "You did it!"  - "You qualified for Boston!"  I crossed that finish line with such a huge smile, for so many reasons!!  I just have to say that my sweet little sister Andrea, her husband Ryan and and their very new baby girl braved the truly ridiculous, traffic, weather and roadblocks.
-  Coming home to phone, e-mail & facebook messages of congrats from people who helped help encourage me through this journey was certainly a highlight.
-  Overall the race felt good.  Even though I had trained HARD, was pretty confident I had figured out the issues I had in the Seattle race - I still had doubt, that evil fear monster was still there.  But I conquered it this time......It wasn't easy - I certainly had to lock into my mental toughness and rely on song son my playlist and the faces of my family and friends to really get it done, but I never truly hit a wall, never felt like I had to stop.  Leaves me with a new evil mental game......what was I REALLY capable of, I should have pushed harder & so the new mental games begin.....

My Dad & I at the start line - such a great cheerleader!!

My sweet husband!!!

There were a few things that were less than ideal:  the pouring rain (though it wasn't that bad), my Garmin shorting out at the start line and the hardest for me was knowing that Julie wasn't able to run like she was capable of, that our dream of qualifying for Boston together wasn't going to happen this time around.  So proud of her that she ran a stinkin' marathon - injured - that would go on my list of accomplishments for sure and why she able to claim to be a "Badass Motherrunner" (click here to see the awesome shirts from run like a runner that we love!!)  I was so excited to finish a marathon with her - finally whether it was how we pictured it - we have many adventures running and otherwise that we will get to do together.

So, The Boston Marathon is what lies before me.  Yesterday was my first official training run.  I am excited and nervous to take on this next challenge, but so blessed to have the support and encouragement that I have.  More about my training plan (which I am still tweaking), my goals and oh yes, my fears.
Thanks for coming along for another chapter of these Inspired Miles of a Mom!!!

I own 26.2 & a new perspective!!

11-10-2010 - Has it really been a month since I crossed that finish line in Portland on 10-10-10???  I decided to wait a month to post. 2 reasons - my first attempt right after the marathon was a great play by play of the Portland Marathon that took me an hour and a half to write........and I lost it on my computer.  It was gone and I was irritated - all my details, emotion, thank you's - probably too much info anyway.  But it made even more evident that there was a message that God had been putting on my heart.  Don't forget about what REALLY matters!  I was upset that I wasn't able to share my details of the race, my feelings of victory - my friends and family were waiting for an update...........my kiddos were sitting there wanting mommy's attention.  I needed a break - I needed to take in the last four intense months of training, take in my race and mostly, most importantly - take in my family.

As much as I love to share my thoughts in writing and get so inspired by reading other peoples blogs, I needed to figure out a better balance.  It all hit me when we were at the beach for my taper week, taking in some much needed family time with my husband's travel schedule, my running schedule and the beginning of school, soccer ect..  While I was there - I realized how easy it was for me NOT to be there.  I had a marathon in two weeks - one that I had trained hard for and had so much emotion into finishing this time - not ending up in the medic tent.  I had hydration to figure out, the right fuel, the right socks, what was I going to wear (yes, I think about that), what head band would stay put, pace group or no pace group, would Julie's injury be better and I had running blogs to catch up on - they might have answers, inspiration.......they have the same passion as me.  I had good reason to be distracted & not totally present - RIGHT!!??

THE GREAT BALANCING ACT.  We were so blessed to have AMAZING weather while were there - which is rare in October at the Oregon Coast (except for my long run day of course!!).  I found my mind filled that week with mostly thoughts of the upcoming race. When I was on a hike with my two beautiful children and my sweet husband and I kept thinking about how the timing was going to work out so I could get back and RUN.  I looked down at my sweet little girl holding my hand, stopping to pick every leaf and telling all about each one and I looked ahead as my warrior son was conquering the trail with my husband telling us to "hurry up",  and I felt in my heart God saying - "THIS is what is in front of you - take it in!!!"  Now as much as I LOVE running, love having something of my own and have found so many positive outcomes from running - I can see how dangerously close I am coming to it being too much of my own thing.  Another moment of clarity for me at the coast was while I was enjoying a beautiful run on the beach (oh- one of my very favorite things!!!) - and I naturally found myself thinking of my mom, as the beach was her very favorite place to be. Many of you know that running has been a great therapy after losing my mom 2 years ago and it has been such a positive  release!! But as I was running that day and as I thought of her and was starting to feel sad, my first instinct was - "Run through it Ashley, run harder - push through."  This is what I do A LOT when I start to feel emotion over losing my mom - I just push through it .....push it aside. I am not suppose to push my sweet, beautiful mom's memory aside - sad or happy.  So - I stopped in the middle of my run - right there on the beach and looked at the beautiful ocean where my mom's ashes are and I CRIED.  I remembered her, I honored her, I SLOWED DOWN and spent a moment with her ........a much needed moment with my grief.  I am not saying that I feel like I should always do that  (or I would probably be a mess), but I need there to be more of a time and a place for those moments - embrace them...... and that WAS certainly the time and the place.  It felt good.  It felt better than knowing I put a check mark on my training log that day - that I actually faced a greater challenge that day.

My sweet family during our hike. My run can wait!!

So, I am still in LOVE with running and will continue to be passionate about it.  And yes, I still love catching up on my friends blogs and the others out there that inspire me, but I needed a reminder that when those things become more interesting than or a distraction from the people that are right in front of me ........I need to re-balance.  I am certainly not preaching - this is totally my own conviction.  Many of you out there are able to balance better than I am.  I just know that it is healthy for us all to think about that when it is all said and done (as much as running can send some great messages to our kiddos, husbands, friends, family)  -  I don't believe many of us will be wishing we had logged more miles over taking in unforgettable moments with loved ones.

It's a challenge being a mom, being a wife, a friend, a sister, a daughter.........and a RUNNER.  But I am up for the challenge.

Oh yeah....I need to do a re-cap on Portland.  Seriously, God is so great with timing and re-affirming the lessons He is teaching us....my daughter JUST woke up and walked down stairs. So, more on that later - I need my morning snuggles.

Inspiration, Great Tunes & Marathon Memories

Last week my family and I took a much needed break at the beach and it happened to fall right into place with tapering in my running schedule.  Time to SLOW down a bit was the theme of the week.... (more about that whole week of reflection when my mind is not consumed with 10-10-10)!!!

So - randomness - that is what you get for this post, because that is what my mind is filled with right now with 2 days to go until the start line is saying, "Ok - show me what you got Shaddy!


Inspiration - oh we could be here forever - but I will give you a few that have kept me moving when I hit a little burn out mode the last few weeks.
These beautiful faces of my sweet, handsome, supportive (with a huge dose of smart aleck) husband & my beautiful kiddos

Picture of us after a beautiful hike during our REST week at the beach.

I am certainly one of those runners that LOVES music to keep me motivated - so here a re a few that have kept me moving the last few weeks:  disclaimer - please do not hold me accountable for any potential offensive lyrics - just beats and certain lyrics that keep me going (no f-bombs ......that I can remember)!

The High Road - by Broken Bells
http://iLike.com/s/AaqhW
Perfect Warm up Song!  Love his voice.

She's Long Gone - BlackKeys  - "She's Gone, Long Gone!!!" Oh yes I am!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T5SHOX6eomk

If you do not have this on your playlist – PLEASE ADD IT – it gets me so pumped!! Fun jazzy/rock sound - a little something different for your playlist, but OH SO GOOD.

Move Along - All American Rejects

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-d07ZUqvjz4
This is one of my favorite running songs - Love when it says - ” Ah – You gotta Keep it Strong – Move along, move along like I know you do. Even when you r HOPE is gone, move along, move along just to make it through” 
Seriously How perfect is that??? 

California by 2Pac

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cs9hp4ubU1k
Tribute to Julie - would think of her being back in Cali for a visit

I've got soul, but I'm not a Soldier by The Killers
Great song for running & this link will take you to one of my FAVORITE nike commercials that says

"Everything You Need Is Already Inside"!! 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ii9CY6GKYu4

The Ghost Inside by Broken Bells
http://iLike.com/s/AaupN
Love the Beat to this song!!

What is It??

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dGLltErZRz8

Ok - I have to do it - a Hip hop tribute to my brother in law who downloaded this on my running tracks and I actually loves that it says - "Let me see you go mama - go mama!"  I like to think they are talking to me - haha!  I am pretty good at turning any song into something to do with running...

As much as I rely on music while I run, during my hill workouts this time around - I have been turning off my i-pod for my last hill, my kick my rear end workout...... and dedicating it to my sweet friend Meredith's brother, Chris.  I spend that hill praying for his battle with cancer & thinking about how his challenge is far greater than the one I have in front of me.  I swear every time I have done this - Chris's hill- is always my best pace!!!  Thank you Meredith & Chris for being with me on those hills!!

I have brought along with me so many pieces of people and experiences that have inspired my training......my family, my friends (running and non-running!!!), blogs of other runners that make me feel like I can do this!!, articles, RLAM, memories of my sweet mom, verses, nike commercials - haha, .................
Pieces of this journey that remind me that I am not in this alone - thank you to all of you that have shared your piece with me these last 4 challenging months!!! I will certainly be taking you with me on the Portland Marathon course.

As we enter the next chapter of our marathon experiences - I had to share a few of my favorite pictures from our last - a few more images that inspire me:

My Sweet Mom - Always in my heart & out there with me on the course!!

Look at his cute face - how couldn't it inspire you!  Oh & yes he DID hold up a sign asking me if I pee'd myself!

This is one of my favorites!!  My husband said that everyone had pain on their face, but not Julie - she had a smile- of course!!!

Portland Marathon - 10-10-10 - Here I come!!!